To the Moon and Never back

Dear EX,
How are you? Doing great with her? Oh I see…It’s been a long time when we broke up the thing called our “Realationship”, may be the best thing ever happened to me..I know it’s not for you though.. But have you ever felt a lil bout me? Like ever? We broke up mutually as you said, but is it a mutual thing to not having a convo even before leaving? You shredded me in pieces, I never said a word. You hurted me a lot, but I never acted as you’ve done. Is it my fault that I’ve defended you every time and cheated myself for trusting on you?
I still remember my last birthday, my amma and appa was far from me and I was sad coz I’ve been never alone on my birthday, so you have planned the gifts, surprises and a whole day just to be with me. I still remember the first message you’ve texted on my birthday saying ‘Happiest birthday my cutipie..You are the best gift ever received. This new year, I promise you with all the happiness, crazy trips, businesses, and loads of romance and head kisses..’ And the last line saying, ’I love you a lot, and yes I do..’ I’m still stuck in that ‘Yes I do’. I still remember our first business trip, having lots of fun, trying new tastes, Haha you always hated trying new food but you had tried and loved it. Still remember your first confession. Still remember you were on my lap, having a peaceful sleep with that cute baby face. So many funny videos, pictures, Festivals, Business trips, travel plans, deep discussions and good and so the bad times we had.. Uff so many memories. I always smile whenever I look at those pictures, our memories but suddenly the smile turns into the tears as I can have that memory again but can’t have with the same person again.. I heard somewhere, Things never happens the same way twice, may be this is what they mean.. You have the person in front of you like a stranger with thousands of memories.
You know, in my circle everyone knows bout you, everytime when they see me alone, just asks me, ‘where is he? What happened? All okay na?’ Now what should I say bout it, I just keep it quiet and smile.. and what does that smile mean, A broken piece, who pretends everything is perfect..
Yesterday, at the night, I was thinking bout you, we shared thousands of memories but the one which has my heart is the day when I was in my award ceremony and I’ve got 3 awards for my project and you’re already waiting for me outside having a bunch of 7 different shaded roses, and I was shocked that how would you know and you said, you already knew that I was gonna achieve them. I hugged you in that excitement and you kissed on my forehead saying ‘Many more to come my girl.. Aur tumhare har success me I will be there.’ I almost cried. Wore the saree for the first time as just you wanted to me see me in that attire.. Sitting on the left side of you, First time, I was admiring the roses you’ve given to me… You knew I hated roses ever but since the day I had them, I fell in love with two things, the roses and the other one was a giver.. You know the most lovely thing was that you only picked them all seven for me.. Just like a fairytale.. And the secret is, I still have the petals of that roses, dried, dark, just like me.. Thinking of the past tales now, who imagined the things might gonna turn like this.. You called me Radha Rani and touched my feet as a blessing and all that had my heart.. They sounds fake just like those roses..
Just like this, I repeated every memory of you in my mind all the day, Nothing is there which doesn’t remind me of you.. You are in everything, the schedule I plan, the trip I search about, my password as our birthdates my hydrate alarm thinking like you saying , ‘Bachha enough of your work, paani bhi pi liya karo thoda’, Sometimes anyone asking chai, you loved the chai most.. And tumhara decided tha na, tumhari jhoothi chai aakhri ghoot jabardasti mujhe pilana even if I hate it but still I didn’t refuse it ever.. Us aakhri ghoot me bhi Jannat jaisi feeling thi..
I always loved, worshipped, cared about you, as you are a part of me. They say you should move on but from what should I move on? Loving you is my decision. I fell in love with you and I adored this thing forever in my heart. I cried a lot for you. But, later I reminded the thing, Agar vo aapko vaha nahi le ja sakte jaha aapko pohochna hai then it’s not your people.. Just like a train, for a particular trip, we choose it, But if we get in the wrong train, we should immediately get off.. Love is a part of life that should be cherish.. Love comes in an unexpected way to you when you don’t need it, but leaves you when you need it the most.. Some people are not meant to be destined but surely to be loved for the rest of their lives.I had the people who loves me the most and may be having a fight who does more.. I am that lucky person having such kind of people to whom I can never say goodbye or frighten the most imagining this thought.. And then there is you, “ jisko kabhi knone ke dar se bhi darte the par khoya aise hai ki dobara paana bhi nahi chahte..” I always wanna take it to the Moon but never back coz, ‘ Jo sapne maine dekhe hain, vo Us se kai jyada bade hain, Jin logon ke saath, jin logon ke saamne, jin logon ke khaatir vo sapne maine bune hain, vo Log Us se kai jyada Jaroori hain..’ That’s what love is for me.. Jo paas nahi usse pyar karo par jo paas hain uski kadr karo.. And again the universe says, Koi cheez hamare zindagi me yun hi nahi aati, Agar vo taqdeer me hai to uski koi na koi vajah jaroor hogi..
They say, Nobody is dead after one leaves, But we can’t call survival a Life.. I am on that survival… Will meet again if the universe wants us to.. But till then, I Love You to the Moon and never back.. Be happy with all you have but, again a question, Am I that easy to let go? Just think about and let the universe tell me in a more unexpected way…